- Quiet down, I can't hear myself think. (Then I hear myself and realise I wasn't missing anything life altering)
- You're going to break your neck if you don't stop jumping on the couch/bed/stuffed toy/insert furniture item here.
- Your eyeballs will go square if you don't move back from the TV (Still waiting for mine to do that)
- If your friend said you should jump off a bridge/eat sand/scream like a lion/spit water out of your mouth, would you do it? (apparently the answer's yes). Drumroll for the big one...
- Because I'm the Mum, that's why. Therefore I am the boss. The autocratic dictator of this little universe. The giver and taker of sweet treats. Provider of food, clothing, shelter, kisses, hugs, bedtime stories and nursery rhymes complete with realistic animal noises. The master of all I survey. The end of the line. The place where the buck stops and no correspondence will be entered into. The wicked witch who won't brook having her absolute dominion questioned. If I say it's so, it's so.
If only motherhood were like writing, that last point might hold up.